Planting your roots

Written by Kaitlyn Kotala

March 5, 2023

I’m a plant admirer, and in my home, you can find Monsteras, English Ivy, Pothos, Inchplant, Selloum, Snake Plants, Spider Plants, Aloe Vera, Peperomia, Umbrella Trees, Dragon Trees, and SO MANY avocado propagations.

As many of you may know, plants require care in order to grow. There are some of the basic growth requirements like:

•Hydration

•Sunlight

•Nutrition 

And then there are the more time consuming or dreaded growth requirements like:

•Repotting

•Pruning

•or dealing with Pests and Diseases 

The time consuming and dreaded growth requirements are one of the reasons many people choose not to start growing their own plants.

Just like plants, humans need care too! Humans need the basics like hydration, sunlight, nutrition, exercise, and sleep. But we also need the time consuming or dreaded care requirements for growth, like changing our environments when the environment no longer supports us, setting boundaries and practicing assertiveness with the people around us, and taking time for self-reflection to identify what we need to thrive. 

I like to use metaphors in my practice and a common metaphor I use is the process of plant growth. The most important stage of plant growth is rooting. Without rooting, we wouldn’t have a plant. We don’t typically see this part and it can make us feel frustrated and hopeless, and make us think that we don’t know what we’re doing. Once roots develop, a stem starts to emerge from the soil and we get so excited to see it! It reinforces the idea that we can take care of a plant! It grows slowly each and every day. Again, this is a long process and the feelings and thoughts from before can creep back in.

We find ourselves waiting for the first leaf, but the stem just keeps growing up. And when it finally comes, we wait for the next leaf without celebrating the first leaf. 

And most of the time, we catch ourselves rushing to get to the flowering stage. The flowering stage is the quickest stage, and it usually takes the longest to get to (if the plant flowers, that is!) because rooting, stem growth, and leaf growth take the most time and energy.

This metaphor can be useful in describing the process of human growth and healing. The important things I pick out of my metaphor and share with clients are:

1. Rooting takes the basics of care (water, sunlight, nutrition, sleep, and exercise) and it takes a lot of time before change is visible. Consistency and patience is key. 

2. When we start to notice stem growth, it can be a long time before we reach the milestone we are waiting for. But again, the consistency and patience is required if we want to see ourselves continue to grow towards our goal. This stage is really challenging at times, because we see upwards growth and repetition, but we can’t see the bigger picture yet.

3. When a leaf finally grows, it may be big, it may be small, it may be green, it may be yellow, but most importantly, it’s a leaf. The leaf took time to grow and deserves to be celebrated. Your milestones, no matter how big or small, deserve to be acknowledged and celebrated because that one leaf took so much of you.

4. Although flowers are cool, a flower couldn’t bloom without rooting, stem growth, and leaf growth. Healing, just like rooting, stem, and leaf growth, isn’t always pretty but it’s necessary. And the flower may not last a long time, but the roots, stem, and leaves are there to support itself and grow another flower when it’s ready. Your foundation (i.e., supports and resources, strengths, and coping skills) is there to support you through the ugly parts of growth, and when you bloom, you can appreciate the time, patience, and consistency you had to get there. 

‘Healing isn’t linear’, as you may have heard before. It may sound like plant growth is a linear process, but it isn’t either. Sometimes the most developed plants have roots that begin to rot. Sometimes our leaves and stems need to be pruned. Sometimes we need to spray our leaves to rid of pests and disease. These forms of care may look like a setback in growth, but it’s necessary to grow bigger and greener than ever.

Take care of your plants, and take care of you.